A Virtual Baby Book! Snap!

If you want to see the rain...you must fill up the clouds first!

As we near the finish line of this process to enter the domestic adoption pool, I thought that I better start documenting some of this!  It's kind of like starting the baby book now I suppose!  If I had any male readers at all...I just lost them- LOL!  But hang in there, trust me, this is not going to be the typical book...I mean who are we kidding, I am learning quickly nothing is typical in my/our life and that is why we love it most!  When I was pregnant, I found it therapeutic to document how I was feeling & what symptoms I was having.  I documented my weight gain, physical changes and things like the first kick...all the while thinking in the back of my mind that I would again some day reference this journal and compare notes to my second pregnancy.  Well this post is not going to be a sob story, but rather a NEW chapter in Team Ulin's life.  If you would like to read about our journey click here and it will give you more than enough details on how we ended up from point A to point B.

Why the opening quote?  Because I feel that the adoption process can be just as much of a blessing as a regular pregnancy can be.  You must look at all of the obstacles as blessings, road blocks, detours or re-directions.  After you CHOOSE your own happiness...you will start to SEE the rain :)


 

So I will begin this as Chapter One with hopes to not only share this with Team Ulin Team Member #4 some day but perhaps to maybe even inspire someone out there.  


So first some alarming stats...not to condemn, place guilt, or cause a tear (remember...none of that today...) but just b/c facts are facts:

• In 2010 there were 15,250 children in foster care....IN MICHIGAN ALONE!
• In 2010 there were only 1864 newly licensed foster homes issued that year (you do the math)
• Nearly 40% of adults have at least considered adopting
• Nearly 1.37 Million abortions per year...in the US 
• Nearly 42 Million abortions per year wold wide.  ...Imagine if just some of those changed their mind (*note that infant adoption is the easiest placement statistically speaking)
• 52% of women obtaining abortions are under the age of 25
• Number of women ages 15-44 with impaired fecundity (impaired ability to have children): 7.3 million (according to the CDC)
• 468,988 babies are born to teenage mothers each year (in the US alone)
• Nearly 3 out of every 4 adopted children ages 0-5 are read or sang to every day
• well over half of all adopted children eat dinner w/ their families at least six days per week
• 85 percent of adopted children are rated to have “excellent” or “very good” health.  The national average for non-adopted children is 82 percent, according to The National Center for Health Statistics.
• 90% of children over the age of 5 state they have positive feelings about their adoption

Pretty crazy stuff there, huh?!  

So now I'll get to more of our story.  I get a lot of questions already (which is totally fine by me...I mean I am blogging about this journey afterall) so now let me educate you, just in case you don't already know or have questions.

What the heck does adoption consist of?

• Domestic (aka from the US) and International have two very different, but also somewhat similar processes...in the event that they are processes.  For the sake of this chapter I will discuss the domestic process
• Here is a little bit about what our adoption story has looked like so far (after we received what we call ...The Calling to Adopt *see the above referenced post for more than you ever want to know details :))
• We attended a very well put together informational meeting at our Church click here to learn more where we got to learn all of the ins and outs and meet some 'real' families that have been through the process
• Next I began the research to see who we would research *I'm tired just thinking about it!  But know that is just my personality...I researched which bubbles to order for our wedding- LOL
• We chose domestic infant adoption which means that we will literally pick the child up from the hospital the day that they are born.  
• Adoption laws changed about 10 years or so ago and that means that in the US the process will be semi-open, for domestic infant, which means we may interact with the birth mom pre baby which may even mean that we get to go to Dr. appts and ultra sounds!!
• Next, we actually interviewed a few adoption agencies with the help of a nice list of pre-made questions provided by our church (anything to make this process less eventful...the better!)
• After prayer and giving it all some time to sink in...we selected an agency. *We did meet with a small private agency out of Dearborn who's husband is an adoption attorney as well, using an attorney is also an option but you just don't receive the typical 'networking' pool with that selection

Next, let the real process begin it goes something like this:

(I wish I had a fancier blog so I could change the bullets or something- LOL  K rock- may need some help??)

• Fill out an initial application with some pertinent information on how you would raise a family and submit one family photo
• Fill out a Parent Profile answering several questions (more in depth) such as what values are important to you, what holidays do you celebrate, what religion do you practice etc
• Have 4 references send in letters of recommendation to the agency (before you can begin the home study)
• Meet with a social worker to start the home study process where they evaluate your entire immediate family (meaning if there will be siblings to the adopted child) to ensure you are fit  (physically, mentally and emotionally) *for anyone interested the complete home study is usually around $2,500
• Get FBI fingerprinting done (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PROCESS FOR THIS- LOL!)
• Receive medical clearance from you Dr (everyone in the family...if you have pets your pets must also be vaccinated)
• Turn in all pertinent documentation such as marriage certificates, birth certificates, SSN cards etc (I guess they have to assure you are really a US citizen before they give you another one ;) )
• Employment verification
• Local Police clearance (I guess the FBI clearance might miss something- LOL)
• Background check (why those are not the same I still am not sure)
• Get the babies room somewhat ready so that we can show our social worker we are workin on it
• NOW THE FUN TAST (Fun and wonderful, but a TON, I mean a TON, of work) create a Shuttefly (or any picture website) book telling YOUR story with pictures of your family, your home, the babies room, your friends who may be in the babies life, activities you like to do etc
• Final Home Study meeting(s) (on average 2-3)
• After you receive the FINAL CLEARANCE you are placed in to your adoption agencies pool and the birth parents begin to receive your Shutterfly Books to make the selection of who they want to adopt their birth child.  
• Since the birth family is choosing the adopting family, there is no magic answer as to how long it could take.  Hypothetically you could get chose the day after you receive clearance, or on the other end you may never be chosen

Ok...are you tired yet??  Here is the best part....I am not.  I mean, don't get me wrong YES it is a lot of work.  But so is CHOOSING to become a parent.  So is pregnancy...so why should this be any different?  I don't have heartburn, morning sickness, a sense of smell that will show any dog up and I can still wear my skinny jeans and heels!  I'll take it.  This is OUR story.  We chose this story.  Some do not and will not ever get it.  I hope that by writing this chapter I may shine light on a subject that not a lot of 30 somethings know a ton of details on.  

So as you tuck your littles in for bed tonight don't forget to give them one extra kiss...b/c they are our future afterall.  They are blessings no matter what your day or their day looked like.  I thank Jesus every single day for our biological daughter Kaylee.  We feel so blessed to have expereinenced that chapter and now are moving on to another chapter.  

PTL FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND LOVE.  don't hesitate to ask a question if you have one...if you are new to blogging you can FB, twitter or email me kristenulin@yahoo.com

Peace, Love and Snapping ;)